A Humbling Day

I'm a little emotionally drained. I think I handled today pretty well, though. I understand I'm not perfect. Still, I couldn't help crying when my manager had a talk with me.

So...if you didn't know, I made a huge boo-boo LAST Friday at work. I went in Monday, hoping to do better, and it went smoothly.

But today, I went in with the same determined attitude. I had the same section from last week...five tables...usually not too rough for me. Halfway through the shift I forget to ring in a table's order. I talked to the table; they didn't seem to notice and didn't mind waiting. They were, thankfully, nice about it.

My managers on the other hand were...disappointed that I would make a silly, yet crucial, mistake that someone who's worked there as long as I have shouldn't be making.

I was beginning to think they were going to fire me.

I was close.

After my shift, one of my managers basically explained to me they want me to move to hosting, or find another job... This stinks because I thought someone like me should be able to handle this. She said serving isn't for everybody and they are not saying I'm not a smart person... she says I am smart. With this job, I just lose it at certain parts of the busy shift.

Anyway, we've made a compromise and I'm going to serve on Mondays and host on Fridays.

I cried... I'm just bummed that I work so hard and get "demoted." Again, I know it's not the end of the world, and this really is temporary til I can teach full time... It's just hard when someone says you can't handle it and you want to show them you can, but feel like maybe you should admit you can't...And when your little sister is amazing at it and is loved by everyone at work.

I do agree with my manager. I think what she told me is right. They're going to let me have smaller sections. (I seem to do fine with 3-4 tables). And I'm reminded I can't do everything. I'm not Super Ashley, and I wish I was.

It's not really a matter of being perfect...cause I know I'm not, I just take pride in being a quick learner and wish I was good (or at least decent) at everything I do.

The Lord is really teaching me a lot through this. I'm thankful He still loves me deeply no matter my performance.

My worth is not found in my ability to wait tables.