Keep in Touch

I was thinking that other day that I have several friends I have not been in contact with in a long time.
With the direction life takes you, I know that that will be the case sometimes. But I don't want to loose those friends forever.
I'm making it my goal this month to contact these people at least once, whether by phone or by meeting. (Email or facebook doesn't count).

Janie
Heidi
Laura
Sarah

I'm VERY thankful. I got several teaching books I wanted for Christmas. I also got to pick out a cross necklace, which I also really wanted. My old one wore out and just got old.

Josh and I got a Home Depot gift card from his dad. We got some decorative wall shelves for our bedroom. Just now we tried to put them up and we got the long one up, but when we tried to put up the short ones, Josh noticed that one of the pieces we need is messed up. Got to go back to exchange it. :( Gotta wait longer for the wall to look pretty :(.

Also, I finally had an epiphany of what my big lesson that I want my students to leave each year learning is. I made signs that I'll put up that say, "GO BIG or GO HOME!" I really think kids now a-days need to learn how to give 100% in everything they do. I've noticed they really don't like to work. I hope I can inspire them some how. They may not leave my class with a love for reading and writing, but they should leave with a better understanding of it and a desire to give their all... in everything.

Warning: It's a long one. But, hey, I'm done with my internship!

Finally, a new post.
I have been the BIGGEST procrastinator with writing this post and now I really have absolutely nothing to do so I figured, here I go, I better update my blog.

And, my goodness, I have so much to reflect on. I could start with student teaching:

Bottom line is I've learned a lot and grown a lot. I'm not the same teacher as when I started in August. I think the biggest thing I've gained is confidence, which is really what I really needed.
Back two months ago I was really doubting myself... mainly doubting my expertise in English. Part of it had to do with my amazing mentor teacher watching my every move and critiquing my techniques. The thing is, that was good, I needed it, but it was... nerve wracking and embarrassing sometimes.
Because of my student teaching experience, now I feel equipped with some great tools for how to best teach my students reading and writing.
And I have a job for January and I've already jumped in teaching the class a little bit. Now that I'm really the only English major in the classroom, I feel more confident. I'm more firm with my classroom management, but trying to be fair at the same time. The kids are ready for me to teach them... they say the sub is nice, but they don't like how she teaches, and she's really not an English teacher, she's a retired Science teacher.
But, anyway, I am SOOOOO excited! I have so many ideas flowing through my head that I think about my new class and classroom ALL THE TIME. I go to bed thinking about how to set up my classroom; I wake up thinking about ideas for how to teach spelling. I'm often scrambling for a pen and paper to write down the ideas I'm getting. And the cool thing is, they all have a purpose. I'm doing these things for my kids. So they can learn, so they can learn in a way that makes sense to them.
I found out I have a student who's homeless... I have a student who just recently got out of jail. I have students who love to read and write and who'll do anything for their teacher and others who hate it and would rather have their eyes gouged out with a spoon than be in literacy class.
I know I may not "fix" every kid... but I know something: I can't teach to the test. I've got to teach the kid. I've got to teach in a way that motivates them and gets them interested. I've got to show them WHY we read literature and WHY we can write poetry... and the best way to do that is share my passion for it. The hard part is going to be editing out that I read and write mostly because I love Jesus... but I will definitely try to sneak that in as often as I can. (Silly separation of church and state c--p).

On another note, I've been REALLY tired lately. I get up at six, go to school, and then come home at four in the afternoon and just want to go to bed. The new students take a lot of energy to manage. I love it and for the most part I'm energized when I'm in the middle of it, but when I stop at the end of the day and actually sit down, I'm pooped.
A thought I realized the other day... I miss my friends. My girlfriends. I haven't really spent time with them or called them in a while... and I feel bad, but I'm just so tired at the end of the day that I just want to sit and veg and relax with Josh and not talk to anyone else. And often I feel like I don't get too much alone time with Josh, so by the time the weekend comes around, I want to be around him the whole time.
But I miss my deep friendships. Is part of it because I'm an adult now and working and married and have to cut back on friendships? I don't know. But I think about my girlfriends all the time and they all hold a special place in my heart still... but I feel like my friendships aren't as deep at they once were...
Am I just too lazy to call? Maybe.
My mentor teacher said to me that at the end of the summer she says to her non-teacher friends, "See you next May." Is that how it is as a teacher? Maybe I just need to get over how tired I am and make that phone call, or set a date to meet up for coffee/tea.
Thankfully I was reminded that the Lord is in control no matter what. He reminded me that even though I haven't been in contact with some of my close friends lately, the Lord is watching over them and taking care of them still (cause I worry about you guys!). Part of me worries, "Oh no! They're probably mad at me and don't think I'm a good friend!" Again, that's not for me to worry about...
So, that's it.
I pray for you guys and think about you and miss you.
I have one week til Christmas break, praise Jesus.
I love you all and wish you a Merry Christmas!!

"Let me do it!"-- No, no, help me, please!

Oh, humbling, humbling, humbling.
Don't you love it?

It was one of those things I knew was going to happen, but I ignored it and pretended it wasn't going to.

I started my student teaching off with the idea, "Let me do it! I want to jump right in, full tilt." In my head, I wanted an experience as close to 'real' teaching as possible. With as little help from my mentor as possible. The classroom is mine. I do the planning. I do the lessons. These are MY students.

And, oh, boy. I'm realizing I need more help than I thought! Not that I'm a terrible teacher, I'm just seriously a novice. I need training wheels.

I was thinking I would be 'cheating' to have my mentor teacher help me so much. But I've realized that it's okay! That's what she's there for, duh! She really wants to start doing more planning together and to see my lessons ahead of time.

I'm definitely humbled. I just honestly thought I could do it. Or, well, I wanted to try. I was always one of those kids that was like, "No, Mommy! Let me do it!" and pushed her away as she tried to help me, show me the best way.

I like learning things on my own and figuring it out. But I need a mentor. I need someone to tell me what could work and what won't. And there is nothing wrong with that! It doesn't make me incompetent or a bad teacher. (Which are my biggest fears).

And my mentor is definitely the BEST! I'd be silly, and stupid, not to glean all the wisdom I could from her. She's been there and done that and knows what she's doing.

So, here we go! Eight more weeks. Eight more weeks. It'll be good :)

Weird.
I'm feeling so overwhelmed with stuff at school I feel like throwing up.
This never happens to me!

Training Wheels

I seem to always find myself wanting to be a step ahead of where I'm at currently.

My mentor teacher has reminded me a couple of times now in the last two weeks I'm a brand new teacher and shouldn't and won't be doing the things a veteran teacher of 25 years would be doing.

But I just want to be better! And I know I CAN be.

I'm trying really hard to live in the moment and enjoy this time of learning how to teach. I'm just looking at the end of December and can't wait to get there when college is FINALLY finished. It's SO close! I'll be a "REAL" teacher.
But for now, I've got my training wheels on. And that's okay. There is NOTHING wrong with training wheels. I'll probably tell my kids the same thing some day.

"Wherever you are, be all there." -Jim Elliot

Pinch Me Please!

So I got a text from my little sister yesterday that sent my heart pounding. Not pounding in a bad way, the kind of pounding you get when you get so excited you get butterflies in your stomach.

This was the text I've been waiting for for almost six years. I never thought my dream job would open up.

"It's true! Roberts is going to Salt Lake."

Well, my theater teacher from high school has had a rough last four years. I hear stories from my sister about him and it sounds like he's just burnt out and needs to take a break from teaching. I've been saying, "He should quit and then I'll take his job." I meant that in the nicest of ways. But... It's true. He's leaving Central High School Theater and taking a job in Utah.

Unfortunately, I don't have a certificate til after December. Unfortunately, I might not be highly qualified to teach theater since my degree is in English. But, I've been researching on the internet and perusing my transcripts the past two days to see how I can make this work. And... I think I can make this work :)

Thankfully, I know the principal. She's also already interviewed me :) Thankfully, I know the choir teacher. I'm sure he'd help me out, too.

I turned in my started application to the District office today.
Let's watch and pray and see how things pan out. (I do know if it doesn't work out in the end, I'll be okay. I can teach something and somewhere else :) )