"And the winner is..." by Melissa Taylor

I think I could have written this article. (Given I don't have kids yet, the same general idea applies).

http://proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com/search/label/Balance

I Like Teams

I just looked at my to-do list, one of my mac widgets here, and it's all crossed off :) That's a very nice feeling for me. I like to feel accomplished, and when I can see that things are getting done (and I have less on my list to do), I feel accomplished.

Right now I'm just focusing on finishing this semester...two weeks, guys. Well, two weeks and finals week. OR I can look at it as 4 and a half projects/assignments. Cause it's really not the time that matters to me, but the amount of work...ya know? 'Cause once these assignments are done, I'm finished! Then graduation day, May 17.

I also feel a little bit torn when lots of my energy is spent on school and my husband needs me "there." That's the other thing I'm focusing on... my dear husband who needs me/my help...hence the biblical mandate of wife: helpmeet/helper/helpmate. It's really a privilege to have that position. It's not just about me...but about "us." We're a team. I like teams :) That's why I played soccer for so many years and... (I could go off with lots of analogies and metaphors for this one, but I won't).

P.S. My little calves are killing me! I did a steps aerobics class that my sister taught yesterday...and my calves are the only thing that hurt. But they hurt enough to be extremely uncomfortable!

A Humbling Day

I'm a little emotionally drained. I think I handled today pretty well, though. I understand I'm not perfect. Still, I couldn't help crying when my manager had a talk with me.

So...if you didn't know, I made a huge boo-boo LAST Friday at work. I went in Monday, hoping to do better, and it went smoothly.

But today, I went in with the same determined attitude. I had the same section from last week...five tables...usually not too rough for me. Halfway through the shift I forget to ring in a table's order. I talked to the table; they didn't seem to notice and didn't mind waiting. They were, thankfully, nice about it.

My managers on the other hand were...disappointed that I would make a silly, yet crucial, mistake that someone who's worked there as long as I have shouldn't be making.

I was beginning to think they were going to fire me.

I was close.

After my shift, one of my managers basically explained to me they want me to move to hosting, or find another job... This stinks because I thought someone like me should be able to handle this. She said serving isn't for everybody and they are not saying I'm not a smart person... she says I am smart. With this job, I just lose it at certain parts of the busy shift.

Anyway, we've made a compromise and I'm going to serve on Mondays and host on Fridays.

I cried... I'm just bummed that I work so hard and get "demoted." Again, I know it's not the end of the world, and this really is temporary til I can teach full time... It's just hard when someone says you can't handle it and you want to show them you can, but feel like maybe you should admit you can't...And when your little sister is amazing at it and is loved by everyone at work.

I do agree with my manager. I think what she told me is right. They're going to let me have smaller sections. (I seem to do fine with 3-4 tables). And I'm reminded I can't do everything. I'm not Super Ashley, and I wish I was.

It's not really a matter of being perfect...cause I know I'm not, I just take pride in being a quick learner and wish I was good (or at least decent) at everything I do.

The Lord is really teaching me a lot through this. I'm thankful He still loves me deeply no matter my performance.

My worth is not found in my ability to wait tables.

In times like these

I just found out that one of my former roommate's dad has died. It was totally unexpected. He was completely healthy, but had a sudden heart attack.

I had to re-read the email several times to make sure that's what I saw and that it wasn't some joke. What's sad is my friend has been a missionary in northern Iraq and wasn't supposed to return until June...but I guess the Lord has other plans...or something...

I was speechless as I stared at the computer screen. I was thinking, "This isn't fair, Lord! She is such a great girl and she's been working so hard in Iraq and reaching people..." Her parents were opposed to her going... was it fear or distress over his daughter that hurt him??

Anyway. After my initial shock, my thoughts immediately turned to scripture: "our times are in Your hands." And "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away..." (From the song "Blessed be Your Name" and the Job story).

We truly don't know when our time is up...or when our family's time is up... we don't know when sorrow or pain is going to hit... we don't know why bad things to happen to good people...

I guess the joy in this is He is with the Lord...but so soon! He still has a 14 year old at home...

But...you know, the Lord REALLY is in control. It's times like these you throw up your hands and say, "Ok, God. I don't get it. But I'm gonna keep going. I'm gonna trust you know what you're doing..." (And He does.)

I think it's also times like these that the Lord takes a moment to wake us up... to remind us THIS IS NOT OUR HOME! I thought about Steven Curtis Chapman's old song, "We are not home yet." This is so true! This earth may have been created for man originally, but our purpose is to dwell with the Lord...and we really aren't TRULEY, COMPLETELY in His presence until we go home! We must leave this planet, leave our temporary bodies and be with Jesus.



That's the bottom line in times like these.

A relaxing Friday evening

The Kushnericks are on their way over. Yay! I think we're gonna play Rock Band. They're only bringing Chloe cause it's past Kylee's bed time and she's with the Aunt T.

I think I'm getting sick again...the familiar headache, body aches, mild sore throat and the beginnings of a stuffy nose. It's rather frustrating and I'm not sure what my body's doing...

We played volleyball tonight at the church. It was super fun! Josh is hilarious and hits the ball with his head when he gets frustrated...or just wants to try something new.

I keep using (...). I just taught a lesson at the middle school yesterday on the correct way to use them and I'm not using them correctly... Oh, well! I'm an English teacher, but not always the smartest. :)

That's all..., I'm gonna go find Josh. He left the office and I'm not sure what he's doing.

Every Season's Change

I always thought I was one of those people who like variety. You know, chocolate one day, vanilla the next; let's rearrange the living room. Nothing should be the same everyday...

But, as I life goes on and I meet new people and have different experiences, I get really shaken up when things change and aren't the way they always have been.

I guess mainly when it comes to the people I know and the people I hold close. I expect all my "friends and family" to stay the same...always be around. Always be close.

For an immediate example, there's been a couple families that have left the church pretty recently and my heart is broken over it. I look at old pictures, or I drive by where they live, or holidays pass that we usually spent with them...
I miss them. Some are moving, others just had to move on, but they aren't around like they used to be. It's not the same.

It's hard when you get close to someone and then they leave. It almost makes you want to not get close to someone again if they are just gonna leave.

Life is loss. Life is pain. There's many times I forget that. I try so hard to keep things happy and beautiful and it's extremely uncomfortable when relationships change.

I can also start thinking about all the wonderful people I have known and no longer keep in contact and i could get really depressed.

But then I think about heaven. Most of the people I have known and loved will all be in heaven with me someday. That's gonna be a great day. When we can all be together as brothers and sisters, worshiping and celebrating with our Savior.

Anyway, I'm kind of melancholy today. Not sure why. It's just one of those days.

If you feel the Lord lay these families on your heart, please say a quick prayer for them. They are all going through a difficult time/transition. Thanks.

The First

I really like the format of this blog. It's simple and it's purpose is for people to read what's going on in my life...not social networking. (I know enough people).

Let's see how this works...